dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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