Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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