If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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