dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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