This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
