i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize