i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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