Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
