break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My vagina is very pro this idea
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
