Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He kissed a someone with a penis
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
