Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize