I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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