i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
