We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
