a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
