Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
