Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
