he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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