should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
