Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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