I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize