this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
