nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
why do cheetos always look like penises
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
