Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize