just tell him i said nine months
babies were throwing up all over the place
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize