so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
operation have a gay friend backfired
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
