ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
