is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
