I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just want to make out with him forever
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
