It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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