you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
