He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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