I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Randomize
