You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
