is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize