if you like me you must not know who I am
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
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