I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
