your thong is hanging out like whoa
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
