I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you win again, gameday.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
