We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
