your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
