haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You ruined the universe
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize