hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
