If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm bleeding and have questions
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
