She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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