if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
