I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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