You're completely useless in the revolution.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
