Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Randomize
