break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
