the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
