I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
