I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
