Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
