he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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