Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
