RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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