Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
