how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
