VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize