brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i came on her dog
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
