hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize
