I think I can smell my own vagina right now
This house was built for laser tag.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
