Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
